


Mind The Gap

by turnyourankle



Category: Ashlee Simpson (Musician), Bandom, Gym Class Heroes, Katy Perry (Musician), Mindless Self Indulgence, My Chemical Romance, The Academy Is...
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - High School, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-13
Updated: 2009-02-13
Packaged: 2018-04-15 14:45:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4610685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turnyourankle/pseuds/turnyourankle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a repost from LJ -- slowly working my way through those.</p><p>High School AU! Lyn's sophomore year of high school is off to a crappy start. It's not enough that her brother publicly asked her out and her best friend suddenly has no time for her; on top of everything her GPA is going down the drain and in order to save it she has to help out the drama club set up their fall play.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mind The Gap

**Author's Note:**

> This is mostly Lyn Z gen, with some minor background relationships. Written for 14valentines, [Day 13: Arts & Entertainment](http://community.livejournal.com/14valentines/115945.html). I am fully aware that Jimmy isn't actually Lyn's brother, but hey, that's the story they tried to sell originally, and it bred this.
> 
> Many thanks to [lovebashed](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lovebashed/) for for forcing me to finish and keeping my spirits up!.

The desk squeaked under the rubber of Jimmy's shoes, and he cleared his throat loudly. Heads jerked up and turned to him and he took a bow, one arm locked to his back and the other extending far in front of him.   
  
Kitty rolled her eyes, and Lyn couldn't help but snort. At least this time he didn't have any props: the last of his performances she'd witnessed was when he crashed an art class armed with a jar of jam, dribbling it allover the desks as he jumped from one to the other, aiming to catch a few fingers under his feet. Mrotek hadn't really bought his defense that he was trying to, as he said, "Create the epitome of modern performance art, you have to suffer for art, stand up for it and yourself!" He'd dragged his feet on his way to detention, smearing lines of jam on the floor.   
  
"DEAREST LINDSEY ANN BALLATO," Jimmy announced, chin high in the air, "I WOULD LIKE TO FORMALLY REQUEST OF YOU TO ACCOMPANY ME TO PROM. AS AN ESTEEMED AND APPRECIATED DATE."  
  
"Who?" Travis piped in, looking like he just woke up. Of course he didn't know who she was,  _of course_. It's not like, oh, they'd been sitting next to each other all of last year and had the same electives. His hair bounced as he twisted up his mouth and bared his teeth, making his piercings look even scarier than usual.  
  
Lyn groaned, hands cupping her face. This time it would prove infinitely harder to pretend like she didn't know Jimmy.  
  
"The lovelieth lady in black in the back," Jimmy said and bowed again, and he pointed his foot at her. He'd even stolen her shoes. He really did have a death wish.  
  
She bit out, "That's not even a word."   
  
"That's not an answer!"   
  
Someone behind her whistled, and Travis barked out a laugh, said, "S'right about that."  
  
"Jimmy. It's  _October._ "  
  
"So you say my heart must suffer for your inability to commit? CRUEL MISTRESS OF FATE."  
  
"She'll think about it, okay?" Kitty said, sounding completely unaffected. She was going to have to ask Kitty for some of her nerves for her birthday. Again. "You should probably get down before you get detention again, and keep your outside voice, you know,  _outside. Shoo!_ " She waved her hands at him.  
  
"That's all I was asking for." Jimmy leaped down, smile so broad you could count his teeth as he pranced out of the classroom, missing Beckett by a beat.   
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
Ashlee's cheerleading outfit matched her smile: starched and stiff, ironed to perfection. She flipped a thick section of her hair over her shoulder, said, "Hi! Lindsey, right?"   
  
"Me?" Lyn dropped her sandwich on her plate, eyes darting towards Kitty for reassurance. She didn't look shocked, but she was scraping her nails against the table; it was a dead give away that she had no idea what was going on.   
  
"Unless there's another Lindsey around here, yeah," Ashlee practically crooned, and sat down on one of the empty chairs at the table. The red plastic matched her lipstick. She scooted closer. Way too close for comfort. "So I heard someone got dibs on you for prom already?" Her eyes were wide, and her hand was disgustingly close to Lyn's shoulder.   
  
"I haven't actually answered. So I don't think 'dibs' applies."  
  
"Oh. That's smart, really smart. I'm impressed! Keep him guessing, and all, right? It'll keep him treating you right," Ashlee said and winked. "Want a carrot?" She offered her Ziploc bag with perfectly sliced carrot bits, and Lyn shook her head. She picked up her sandwich again and tore off a piece. If Lyn ignored her maybe she'd go away.  
  
Ashlee bit down on one of her carrots and chewed it noiselessly. "You're doing the right thing, keep up the good work!"  
  
Ashlee's bracelets clattered against one another when she waved them off and jumped into another food court conversation.  
  
"Was that a pep talk or an insult?" Lyn poked a whole in her chips bag, and stuffed a few in her mouth. "I don't even get why are people taking this seriously. They really think I can't do better than my brother?"  
  
"To be fair, most people think his last name is Urine. Like, legitimately think that."  
  
"And that's a comfort? That they think I'd go to prom with a guy named Urine?"  
  
Kitty shrugged. "S'not like you pick your name. I don't think anyone really knows who you are anyway."  
  
"Ashlee double E does."  
  
"That's just cause she basically  _is_  the grapevine, you know that," Kitty said, biting into her sandwich. "Everything goes through her first."  
  
"She should stick to cheerleading or something, don't the head cheerleaders have better things to do than mock us mere mortals?" It came out more venomous than Lyn intended, she could tell from the way Kitty furrowed her brows at her. She shrugged to soften the impact.  
  
"That's her sister."  
  
"Hmm?"   
  
"The other Simpson's head cheerleader, I don't think Ash even performs."  
  
"Ash? You use nicknames with her? How do you even know that? Spend time watching the performances, huh? Is there something you haven't told me," Lyn said, trying to sound light. She poked Kitty in the arm.  
  
"Yeah, sure, I've been having a heated relationship with Ashlee that consists of coding her band's website. It's so hot it's illegal in 40 states." Kitty deadpaned, implying that the conversation was over. Lyn sighed, she'd have to ask about the band and the site another time.  
  
She caught sight of Jimmy across the room, running laps around one of the tables. " _Look_  at him," Lyn said, eyes drilling into him. He had pretzels up his nose and he was trying to climb up on Steve's back. "The question still stands: they  _really_  think I can't do better than that?"   
  
Kitty looked just as Jimmy managed to sit on Steve's shoulders, Steve's hands almost white as he held on to Jimmy's legs. "I don't think they think anything. It'll be forgotten in no time, just wait."  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
Lyn considered herself lucky that her only classes left of the day were those she didn't share with talkative people. Or people that cared about anything. Or anyone that really knew who she was, except for Kitty, and she didn't count because she was on her side.   
  
She slid into her usual seat in the art room, and dug up her math book, waiting for Mrotek to busy himself so she could do her homework.  
  
"I want you guys to look at this object, and try to recreate an image using a particular technique," Mrotek said, placing a electric mixer on a stool in the center of the class. "It can be pointillism--which is dots, or tracing the negative space, or simply sketch it out without looking at your paper. Try doing it in color or with B12 pencils or charcoal. No pens allowed."  
  
He sat down by one of the tables and let a stack of papers go around before beginning to draw.   
  
He was far away enough that it was safe for Lyn to let the stack of papers go by her, passing them on.   
  
She ripped out a page from her notebook and kept it next to her, drawing some random lines whenever Mrotek came near. He'd pinned up his own drawing on the wall, and collected those that were done, pinning them next to his. He totally wasn't buying her act, lingering long enough to see that Lyn was drawing nonsense, but he didn't say anything.   
  
She almost felt bad, but evil grade-mongering Carden was way more hardcore than him, so. She'd planned on getting everything done during lunch, but all the drama distracted her. Every time someone looked in her direction she thought they were laughing silently. It was an easy choice when it came down to it. And she could draw one of the blenders at home to make it up.  
  
The corner of Mrotek's mouth looked all droopy when Lyn handed in her sheet. The lines on her paper didn't even seem connected; they couldn't possibly pass for anything other than boredom induced doodles. "And what technique did you use, Ballato?"  
  
She'd tried to join the crowd up to his desk so he would be too busy to say anything, but those looming behind her just dropped off their sheets and skirted off. Somehow, Mrotek managed to nod at them and look pleased with their results while projecting an utterly disappointed look at her. He scribbled her name on the paper, and yep, there it went into her permanent art portfolio. Awesome.   
  
"That...pop, thing? I guess. Trying to include the lines and stuff to show the futility of the mixer. You know. It looks like it'll last but it won't and it's really just illustrating the commodity heavy modern world. And stuff."    
  
"Man, that's deep," Travis said and snorted, as he wormed his way around her. He dropped his paper on the desk and scooted out, a crooked smile on his face. Of course his was some awesome graffiti looking rendition of the mixer.   
  
Mrotek ignored him and sighed. There was a beat, and he nodded. It looked like he wanted to say more from the way he bit his lip; he totally wasn't buying her crap. Lyn wasn't going to push it if he didn't, though, so she scurried out of the classroom before he had a chance to say anything more.  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
Steve Righ had a shit eating grin as usual, but he also dripped as he passed the open classroom door. Lyn thought she'd imagined the drops and the sound, until she saw Jimmy follow, also wet and dripping. The vice principal trailed behind, looking less than pleased.  
  
Lyn craned her neck to see more and maybe make sense of it all, but the door was shut as soon as Carden stepped in, and he headed straight for the board. "Copy these examples for later, and pass your homework to the person sitting on your left, we'll be going through the answers and go through our work."  
  
The door opened as he spoke, and Kitty closed it behind her, walking over to the desk next to Lyn's. "I was upstairs," she said when Carden looked  at her, and he nodded, a small smile on his face.  
  
Lyn leaned over to Kitty's desk as she settled. "Okay, did you see Jimmy and Steve?" Kitty nodded. "Do fill me in? You must have overheard something. What the hell have they been up to now and how did they get in trouble in one period? It's got to be a record."    
  
"If I got this right," Kitty said slowly, concentrating, "Jimmy bet him that he couldn't fix a slip-n-slide, so Steve stole a bunch of saran wrap from the cafeteria, and he...spread it all over two flights of stairs. And I guess the janitor never told anyone they stole those buckets."  
  
"And they're going to see the principal for that? I thought they knew to clean up after themselves."  
  
"Well. They didn't exactly use it for  _themselves_ , it was more like, a boobie trap. I think Wentz ended up slipping and hurting himself pretty badly."  
  
"Huh."  
  
"Yeah. I mean, he thought it was hilarious, but you know how the school is about their soccer stars." Kitty rolled her eyes, and passed Lyn her homework.   
  
"How did I miss this?"  
  
Kitty shrugged, said, "You were downstairs already, so I guess you just missed the big puddle at the foot of the stairs. I was stranded at the computer lab until they cleaned everything up. That's probably also why they got sent to the principal. Stranding everyone upstairs probably threw everyone off schedule. And you know how they are about schedules."  
  
"So that's what the lateness was about."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"You know what that means?"  
  
"Detention. Oh man, your mom is going to be so  _pissed_. And your dad, ooooh boy."   
  
Lyn grinned, and passed her homework to the guy sitting on her left, "Fucking finally," he whispered, blond hair sweeping across his forehead. He had his red pen ready as he copied down the right answers. Lots of red allover. Lyn would be pissed, but whatever, Jimmy was going to get detention, and probably be grounded for a long, long time. She could live with a shitty math grade.   
  
"So, no Jimmy at home. Whatcha say, wanna come over and make cupcakes and watch Beverly Hills reruns  _without_  someone trying to lick the tv every time Brandon's on the screen?"  
  
"As tempting as that sounds, I've actually got plans."  
  
"What? Really?"  
  
Kitty nodded. She hummed a little, finishing off the marks on the homework in front of her and handing it back to the girl on her right. "Now gimme my homework."  
  
"What, you're not going to tell me what these plans are? Why aren't I invited?" Lyn faked offense to hide her curiosity.   
  
"I don't think you'd be into it."  
  
"Because it is..." Lyn let her sentence trail off, and tapped her fingers against the desk, trying to emulate a drum roll and failing pretty badly.  
  
"Marching band," Kitty snatched her homework from Lyn's hands, as Lyn tried to not burst into a fit of giggles.   
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
"Please, incest is hot right now." Jimmy said, changing the channels. "I bet there are at least five shows on  _right now_  about incest."  
  
Either Jimmy didn't get detention, or he'd gotten lucky with a peer supervisor and either bribed them or convinced them there'd been some sort of mistake. Lyn's bet was on the latter.  
  
"Yes, of course, in a bad-creepy-hope-this-motherfucker-rots-in-jail kinda way, I'm sure." Lyn deadpanned, stealing the remote and hitting him in the head with it. He had plenty of hairspray  to protect him.  
  
He ducked away from her second hit, sheltering his head with his hands. "Watch the hair, come on," he shouted.   
  
She stopped hitting him as he stood up on the couch and looked at her pleadingly. "No one needs to know we didn't consummate, okay! God, I was doing you a favor!"   
  
"A  _what_!?" She started pounding at him again, and he jumped down from the couch, running around the living room to avoid the blows. Drama queen. As if she were childish enough to chase after him. She just focused her energy on wishing he'd spontaneously combust. Although with her luck, she'd probably have to clean up his mess.  
  
"Fine! No hitting. But I want an explanation. What do you mean, a fucking favor?"  
  
"You're the one who's always saying nothing's going on, so see, now stuff is going on!"  
  
"I didn't mean stuff involving  _me_ , you jackass."  
  
"That's not what your diary says," Jimmy said, his eyebrows crawled up into his hairline and the rest of his rubber face stretched out mockingly.   
  
Lyn gasped, and then groaned as it all clicked into place. "That was a  _fake_  you fucking 'tard. Sorry to break it to you but I haven't been sleeping with teachers to get your grades up either."  
  
"Well maybe you  _should_! I could use the help."  
  
"I swear to god, I could fucking strangle you right now. STRANGLE. YOU."  
  
"That should teach you from having fakes!"  
  
"I'm having dinner in my room. And I'm telling mom!" She pointed at the dirty shoe prints he'd left allover the couch.  
  
"Yeah well, they're your shoes. Shoe prints will clear my name!"  
  
She slammed her door twice, and waited until the tv was turned off to go out and clean up Jimmy's mess.  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
"Bum a smoke?" The cross on Katy's necklace swung as she bent down and the huge bow in her hair obscured the sun.   
  
Lyn's lips tightened around her cigarette, and she blew a cloud of smoke in her direction. Katy didn't flinch.  
  
She had to shift her weight and sit up, checking her pocket for stray cigarettes. There was only one left. She got the urge to light it up and stuff it in her mouth next to the other one, but she wouldn't really advantage from it so it'd be a waste either way. "There you go," she said, offering up the cig, and Katy smiled.   
  
She hopped back to her crowd, running across the field, dodging the few soccer players on her way. Travis's hand disappeared in her hair when and she lay down on his lap.   
  
Ashlee waved hello from where she was sitting, and a burst of laughter was heard as she held Wentz back from running (or rather, limping) after the boll as it was kicked off the field in their direction. He must've had gotten hurt pretty badly if he wasn't allowed to play.  
  
"See I told you, already forgotten," Kitty said, chewing her gum, and laying back down on the grass, making sure that she wasn't too far away and inadvertently pulling out the ear bud from Lyn's ear.   
  
"How is stealing my last smoke forgetting?"  
  
"She didn't ask you about your date as she stole it?"  
  
Lyn grunted, pulling her shirt over her belly as it rode up when she lied back down on the grass. "How was the marching and the band?"  
  
"Alright. There was a lot of marching and instrumenting."  
  
"You don't sound all that pleased. Did you expect something else?"  
  
"It just was a lot of work. But I like keeping busy, so I guess it's good."  
  
"I can see that," Lyn said, and tried to kick at Kitty's legs from where she was lying. "Too busy to change the song to something good, huh?"  
  
Kitty picked up the ipod, and skipped a few tracks, landing on something familiar and upbeat. Enough to drown out the shouts from the soccer players. "Shut up, you know what I mean. Although, oooh, I don't know that you do, lazypants."  
  
"Yes, well, I like my free time." She took a deep drag and let her lungs burn.   
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
Mrotek cornered her during break. She'd had the bad idea to sit in one of the empty chairs next to the teacher's lounge. She should've remembered they were always empty for a reason.  
  
"Ballato, how nice to see you."  
  
"Uh, hi," Lyn mumbled around the straw of her juice box, and winced, trying to make it as unnoticeable as possible. She scanned the space for someone familiar she could pretend that she'd been waiting for. It was a lost cause; everyone had scattered as soon as the door opened. She barely managed to stop herself from cursing.   
  
"Do you have a few spare minutes?"  
  
She couldn't think up with a believable lie, especially considering that she'd just started on her juice, plastic wrap still in her hand and she had no homework or book in her lap. She'd never hated the no snacking in class rule more than now. "I...guess."  
  
"Good, good. Why don't you come back into the lounge. It's a little more--private in there. And you can bring your snacks with you. I think we'd go nuts if we didn't get to drink our coffee and tea in there." He looked pleased, big smile on. Maybe he wasn't pissed at her anymore. Maybe he just needed help finding a lost cell phone or wanted to borrow one of her Luis Royo books. Lyn forced a smile.  
  
He gestured to a chair near a desk that she guessed was his. It was overcrowded with colored papers and books, their surfaces covered with imprints from coffee mugs. It was the only one without a computer, instead housing a small globe covered with post its. A box by the chair she sat in was filled with all the weird shit they had to draw in class; Travis's graffiti mixer was at the top of the pile.  
  
"I've noticed that your enthusiasm in class seems to be lacking lately."  
  
She shrugged, and fuck, this definitely wasn't the way any good conversation with a teacher started. She never thought she'd be on the receiving end of one. He looked at her intently. It was obvious that he was waiting for her to say something, elbows resting on his knees. It looked like he  was trying to make himself small and probably look like her equal. He had this odd look, like he was smiling even though she knew he wasn't. It was that trust-me look. She fucking hated that look, and she didn't have anything to say. So what if she was outgrowing art? She picked it last year; high school was supposed to involve change and trying new things. It was just a matter of those new things showing up.  
  
He sighed and leaned back in his chair. He crossed his legs, ankle resting on his knee. "I'm not a counselor, and I'm not going to pretend that I am. You don't have to explain yourself. But I'm obliged to tell you that it's affecting your grades."  
  
"My art grades?"  
  
He nodded. "Among other things, yes."  
  
"But art's an elective?"  
  
"It still has grades. And—listen. The term's only just begun. When someone loses interest this early on it's really not a good sign. It doesn't bode well for other subjects either."  
  
"But you're not a counselor, huh."  
  
He ignored her remark. "Teachers talk. And all those I've talked to agree that it seems you're having some problems. Yes, art is an elective, and it's not for everyone, but when someone suddenly changes their attitude it doesn't bode well. Beckett seems to feel you're neglecting English, too."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Not everyone likes Arthur Miller."  
  
"No, that's true. But a lot of people can fake it."  
  
"I've talked to the other profs and we've all agreed to try and nip this in the bud, if you're willing."   
  
She felt completely ganged up on. Obviously they'd picked Mrotek to talk to her because he was the nice non-threatening one, the young teacher that could pretend he  _understood_  and was in touch with the kids. And it worked too; she hadn't thought there was anything serious going on until he mentioned the others.  
  
"I don't have time to like, do extra stuff for all the subjects....Can't I just like, promise to do better? Work harder?"  
  
"There wouldn't be tons of extra stuff. Just a combo, you know; Beckett suggested that you help out with the fall play--"  
  
"I'm not performing," she blurted out, and Mrotek chuckled.  
  
"No, performing, no. We're not going to add another elective on your schedule. It's more like decor work, adapting an appropriate a backdrop for the literature. Since Beckett's the one in charge it can be applied to your English grade. And well, art," Mrotek said, pointing his thumbs at himself.  
  
"Right."  
  
"Does that sound like something you'd be willing to do?"  
  
She wrinkled her nose.   
  
"This semester's play is 'Mother Courage', so they need some exterior stuff for that. I think I have a copy of the adapted version here somewhere...." He shuffled the papers on his desk, unable to find what he was looking for. As he bent down to open up his drawers his shirt rode up in the back, revealing a slew of colors and patterns on his skin.   
  
It caught Lyn off guard; even though, really, mellow art teacher who smelled like cigarettes all the time and talked about how drugs have benefited certain artists? Tattoos shouldn't be surprising. She was still shocked, though. "Think of it as something to add to your college applications, there's nothing that says you can't list it as an extra-curricular. Sound good?"  
  
He popped back up with the papers in hand and a grin, and she couldn't really reconcile the tattoos with his warm bright face. She could only nod, and took the papers. She was officially doomed.  
  
"It's a good skill set to have for the future."  
  
"Okay." She flipped through the pages, the names looked familiar; if she strained her memory she thought she could remember Beckett orating about all these characters in class. Mostly she just remembered the way he shut his eyes and recited his favorite lines, hand on chest in an attempt to seem earnest. It didn't work. She hadn't read the articles on it when it'd been discussed in class, too busy catching up with the 'The Real World' marathon. She didn't even  _like_  'The Real World'. All the more to do now. "It's not like I've got anything better to do."  
  
Mrotek either didn't catch or ignored the sarcasm. "That's the right attitude! And of course, you'll be able to use the scheduled art classes for this, it's good to be consistent."  
  
"So what, I'm doing this  _alone_?"  
  
"God no!" He paused, and cradled his chin with his hand. "Of course, we'll have to get the people in drama to help out with the execution. But as for the planning I think maybe there's someone who might be able to help out. Gerard Way, if you know who that is?"  
  
She nodded. This entire situation just kept getting worse and worse.   
  
"He has somewhat of a dark vision, so it will be visible if you load off all the work onto him. Which is to say: don't do that."  
  
"Right."  
  
"But I think he should be fairly open to this."  
  
"Wait, he doesn't know?"  
  
Mrotek got up, and Lyn got up too, instinctively.   
  
"That's part of your, shall we call it, exercise? If he refuses, let me know and I'll get involved, but I don't believe it will be a problem."  
  
He walked over to the door and opened it. She left with her shoulders sloped and the play weighing a ton in her hands.  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
Lyn headed straight for the library because she knew Kitty was on duty, which meant she could safely recover her hidden cigarettes. She really needed them now. Of course, with her luck, Gerard was there, sitting at the same table as always, hair as wild as usual.  
  
This was the only reason she even knew Gerard by name; he was always at the library when she dropped in to hide more cigarettes or pick some up, and Kitty always had stories about him. She'd witnessed him in action once, bothering Kitty to broaden the school's sci-fi and fantasy collection, and to incorporate comics; as if it were her call.   
  
"Oh god, good luck with him," Kitty said, glancing at him and snorting. She picked out a pack of cigarettes from behind a Zindel novel, and pushed it back  among the Zs. "I swear, I've never been happier that I didn't pick art. Jesus."  
  
"Can't you ask him? He knows who you are, at least."  
  
"Um. He does not know who I am, he thinks I live here or am school staff, or whatever. For all I know he thinks I'm some robot designed to deny his every request. I'm not approaching him without any of the stuff he ordered, which will arrive: never. He'll just start complaining about how the Watchmen has educational value. What part of donated books doesn't he understand?" She muttered the last part, and pushed the book cart next to one of the popular shelves. "Besides, I have some programming to do!"  
  
Lyn grimaced at that.   
  
"Shut up, you know these computer skills of mine are gonna make me rich and pay for my college. Don't come knocking when you need someone to buy you lunch."  
  
"The IT bubble burst long agoooo,  _Kit_."  
  
"Dude. Shut up, I'm not a speaking car, stop calling me that." Lyn crossed her arms.  
  
"Besides, like your scene decorating skills will do you good in the real world. If all else fails I can freelance to libraries and change their database structures. I bet I could even make them webpages with fancy MySQL and shit."  
  
"I hate it when you talk programmer language." Lyn propped herself against the check out desk, burying her face in her arms. Kitty pulled one of her pigtails. "Can I at least get some of my cigarettes?"  
  
"Cheer up, buttercup." Kitty reached in under the desk, and placed a crumbled pack in Lyn's palm. "You should probably go talk to him now, anyway, I think he's seen you staring. The longer you wait and just stalk him around the place the more likely he is to get a restraining order instead of saying yes. So shoo. I'll make sure not to shush you."  
  
Kitty winked and grinned, typing away on the library computer. Lyn hated her. So much, so very, very much.  
  
Still, Kitty was right. Lyn took a deep breath and collected herself, approaching Gerard's table. She stood next to him, waiting for him to acknowledge her presence, but he didn't say anything to her. He mumbled and scratched his face with his pen, and went back to scribbling fervently. Lyn leaned over his shoulder to see what he writing. College applications.   
  
She was hovering over his shoulder and wrinkling her face, straining to figure out what his essay was about when he turned around. "Hello!" She said, and even she thought she sounded surprised.   
  
He blinked at her, and sort of sunk even deeper in his chair. If she hadn't seen him standing up straight before she would've sworn he was a hunchback from the way he was sitting. "Sooo. Those applications are a bitch, huh."   
  
He didn't say anything, shuffling his papers in front of him, laying an empty paper on top, and stashing his pen in his mouth.  
  
"Can I?" She pulled out the chair next to his, and he still didn't say anything. She sat down. "Okay, hi. Um. Mrotek, the art teacher? He told me I should talk to you about helping the drama club with their play."  
  
"What?"   
  
"The drama club? They have these play each semester, and they like, need help so like, I was supposed to talk to you about it."  
  
"I know what the drama club is," Gerard said, huffing in condescension.   
  
"Well. They need your help!" She flashed him her best pity-me-please-go-along-with-my-suggestion smile, but from his look it seemed like she was asking him for his kidneys. With some bone marrow on the side.  
  
"I don't know what exactly it is you're— _they're_  after, but I'm like, otherwise occupied. I have a big honking heap of applications to hand in and just. I don't think it'd be a good idea. For them or me." His mouth tugged really oddly as he recited his spiel, and it sounded rehearsed. But whatever, Lyn wasn't about to beg when he'd prepped lines to turn her down.   
  
"Fine. I guess I'll tell him you said no and I bet he'll have to change my grade. Or he'll just fail me." She pushed out her chair and braced herself on the table, ready to make a dramatic exit. She didn't have anything left to lose anyway.  
  
He fidgeted next to her and touched her hand. "Wait—what?" He had a completely different look on now, she looked down at his hand on hers, and he let go quickly, but continued speaking. "You said the drama club needed help, Mrotek wouldn't fail you for not getting me to help out. The two aren't even remotely related."  
  
"Well. It's kinda me that has to help with the drama decor kinda, and he told me that you should be able to help." Gerard looked intrigued, and she improvised, adding, "He thinks you're some kind of genius or something."  
  
It seemed to work, Gerard's face lit up, and he said, "Really? Huh. He said that?"  
  
She nodded. "Wow." His back got a little straighter, and he seemed more relaxed. "And you said decor?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"I guess I could maybe help out with some of that." He scratched his head with his pen, using the same end that had been in his mouth. Lyn had to work to keep a straight face.  
  
"I'm sure you can get like, special credit too. And maybe even get some recommendation letters! I mean, I bet since Mrotek is so completely in love with you he'll already write you one but Beckett can probably vouch for you too, or something. Getting an English teacher's recommendation is probably some sort of plus."  
  
"Hmmmm, I guess you can't have too many of those. Maybe some of the stuff will fit in my portfolios, too."  
  
Lyn had no idea what he was talking about, but he seemed excited so she went along with it, "Sure, of course!  _Totally._ "  
  
"I get it." He nodded and smiled, and went back to his applications.   
  
Lyn had no idea what the hell that was. A yes, a no? She caught Kitty gesturing to her from behind her desk. She was doing some weird motions with her hands and her hair and faked a swoon. Lyn cleared her throat, and Gerard glanced at her, and she tried blinking fast and flipping her hair. Which didn't go so well: since most of it was in pigtails, it just whipped around and hit her in the face. The effort was making her dizzy. "Sooooo."  
  
"Are you having some sort of attack?" Gerard asked, looking worried, and Lyn got up, dusting off her pants.  
  
"Um, nevermind. I'm good. But this thing."  
  
"Yeah, it's good."  
  
"When can we like, work on it?"  
  
"I think maybe we should start plotting things out, outlining possibilities and picking themes and the mood we want to set. Or maybe we could even provide several options, and in that way we could have an array of options for Beckett to choose from and perhaps even adapt to!" Gerard spoke fast and loud, his tone getting more intense the longer he rambled. It was weird to see him this excited when Lyn usually witnessed him chewing on his pens and moping after Kitty shot him down. "They're doing 'Mother Courage' this year, right?"  
  
"I—yeah, apparently." Lyn shuffled around the papers in her bag looking at the title. "I only got one copy, but we could probably get you one."  
  
"Nah, it's fine, I have it at home."  
  
"Okay, so. How are we doing this?"  
  
"Well. I guess we should decide some stuff first on our own."  
  
"Okay. My place?"  
  
Gerard paused, blinked and Lyn wondered if she said something wrong. "I mean, I've got space. and time."   
  
He nodded. "I guess tomorrow works."  
  
"Do we need anything special?"  
  
"Paper, a lot of paper. And colors. Markers would be good, and I guess some watercolors and acrylics maybe? Depending on how advanced we want to get. Variety is always good"  
  
"Okay. That's a--uh, I'll make sure to have it all. See you then."  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
Lyn didn't even have half the stuff Gerard mentioned at home. The only acrylics tubes left in her art box that hadn't dried out were powder pink and spring green. She had some small blank sketch pads leftover from her birthday, but unless she tore out all the used pages she'd probably have to show Gerard her drawings. She really wasn't in the mood for that, besides, they'd probably need way bigger canvases than that. She'd never been into watercolors or markers, and she didn't want to waste her calligraphy pens on this; she didn't really think they'd be useful anyway.   
  
She managed to convince her mom to donate to the cause, by saying, "It's for my grades, honestly." If she was lucky the art or drama club would have some budget and refund her--well, her mom. That's how she scored a ride to the store.   
  
It was a wonder Lyn'd maneuvered herself out of the store without any casualties, cardboard squares uncomfortable under her arm and digging into her flesh. She was about to drop it all when a voice startled her, and forced her to stand still in an awkward position, clutching everything she was carrying to her chest.   
  
"Lynz! Hi!" Ashlee's voice came from behind her, and Lyn couldn't help but wonder when they got on nickname terms. She was sitting on a bench with Wentz, both stuffing their faces with ice cream. Or well, he was stuffing his face, and she was taking tiny kitten licks from hers. They both looked like they belonged under the bright mall lights and on spotless tile. "What's up!"   
  
"Oh, hey." She made an effort to balance her supply bag in one hand and the big boards under her arms as they inched they're way down, surface slippery against her clothes. "Just uhm, stocking up on some stuff, you know. Chores."  
  
Lyn's plastic bag wrinkled under her grip, and few markers dropped out, falling to the ground.  
  
"It looks like you need a little help with that." Ashlee scrunched up her nose. "If Pete weren't injured I'm sure he would offer to help."  
  
"Oh, right, I guess I should apologize for that." Lyn squirmed when Ashlee scrambled to the ground and picked up the markers. She took the bag from Lyn's hand and dropped them back in. She didn't hand it back.   
  
"Injured, shminjured. I didn't even get a cast. What's the point of being hurt when you can't show off your war wounds?"   
  
Ashlee huffed. "Why? It was stupid, but it's not like it was intentional. And I don't think you could've stopped it. Boys are stupid, and if Jimmy blames it on you turning him down well, then, it wasn't worth considering him in the first place."  
  
"That wasn't stupid, that was  _genius_. They beat me to it," Pete said, grinning widely, "I have to try it for serious when I'm all healed up. Mad skills those two have."  
  
Ashlee rolled her eyes. She slapped away Pete's face as he tried to munch on a piece of her ice cream. "Scoundrel." He bit down on her arm, still sitting down.  
  
"How are you going to get all that back home?" Ashlee asked, changing the subject.  
  
"I...don't know." She had not thought of that. The buses were always packed like sardine cans around this time, and she knew that her mom wouldn't come back to pick her up, not when she'd already given her money and a ride there. Not having a driver's license  _sucked_.  
  
"You know, I could maybe give you a ride? I mean, I'm not even supposed to be here, so I don't think taking a detour to drop someone off is going to do any harm."   
  
"Wow, huh, I think--that would be great, thanks."  
  
Ashlee left her ice cream with Pete, and gave him two pecks on the cheek. He tried grabbing her ass and she slapped his hand away, laughing. She helped Lyn carry the bags to her car. Lyn didn't know anything about cars, but even she could tell it was probably a good one; a glossy red finish and sleek, still shiny dashboard. The only indicator that the car had been used at all was Starbucks cup in the cup holder, and some pennies and gum strewn about.   
  
"Hey, so what's this stuff for anyway? About to redecorate your room?"  
  
Lyn might as well come clean now, and she said, "It's for the drama club's play, actually. I'm, um, supposed to be prepping the decor."  
  
Ashlee gaped as she started the car. It didn't look like she was about to mock her, at least. "No way! That's so awesome, oh god, I'm jealous. I have like, no artistic ability at all. It's a wonder I can even put on make up."  
  
"I guess. Uhm. It's mostly to get my grade up for English and art, I guess."  
  
"Oh gosh, Beckett is so hardcore. It's a wonder I can stand him in drama."  
  
Lyn tilted her head at this information, it seemed odd. "You're in drama?" Ashlee nodded. "So wait, you're in the play?"  
  
"Yeah! We did casting this week; I'm the Chaplain, vying for Mother Courage's affection. I think I get to be some soldiers, too, we're a little short on people."  
  
"Huh." She looked at the street, recognizing the signs, said, "Left here. So uh, who's Mother Courage?"  
  
"Katy got that honor." Lyn didn't know if she tilted her head more or if everything else around her tipped over. "She totally kills in that part, you are going to die when you see her." Ashlee smiled broadly, earnestly, and there was a stab of guilt in Lyn's chest.  
  
Ashlee helped her carry all the stuff to her stoop, and Lyn hugged her goodbye.  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
"Your date is here," Jimmy hollered from the hallway, and Lyn popped in, surprised; she knew, rationally, that Gerard was supposed to come, she just hadn't expected him to actually show up.    
  
Jimmy snapped some of his gum, and bowed, showing Gerard in. He acted as if Jimmy behavior were completely normal; this was either a good sign, or a really, really bad one. Lyn wasn't ready to find out which it was yet. Jimmy bounced back into the living room; it was slightly too accommodating of him, and Lyn narrowed her eyes as he disappeared. She nodded at Gerard to join her, making sure to look out for any bras or panties he might have planted.  
  
"So, uh, Jimmy's not joining us?"  
  
Her face seized up instinctively, and she recoiled. Gerard just blinked at her, and she had to gesture with her hands to emphasize her answer. "What?  _no_ , aaaah, nononono."   
  
"O-kay."  
  
"Yeah. No. He's in his room and he better stay there.  
  
"He has his own room?" Gerard's eyebrows jerked up, and he looked impressed. "Hardcore."  
  
"Um. Well yeah, it's not like I'm going to share a room with my brother."  
  
"Oh. Huh, hmm."  
  
"What."  
  
"He's your brother?"  
  
"Yeeeeaaah, why?" She unpacked all her art supplies, removing the plastic wrap on all the new stuff she managed to buy. It better be fucking worth it considering how much it cost.   
  
"Huh, uh. Nothin' really. "  
  
"No, really, why? Did someone tell you we were dating or something? Or that he asked me to prom?" She must've sounded angrier than she intended to, because Gerard backed away, nervously scrunching up plastic in his palm and twitching.  
  
"Um--no one said anything, at all, no. It's just--well."   
  
"It's just well what?" She handed Gerard a pair of scissors and a garbage bag. "Cut that, we need something on the floor so we don't ruin it. Parents's orders."  
  
He looked at her, a brief fixed stare, and then started cutting. "I sorta overheard some of the guys in the locker room talking about making lists of um, like backups for prom, people that wouldn't be likely to be taken." He cut neat lines and laid out the black plastic, piling all their gear on top, spreading everything out.   
  
"...And I was one of them." He shrugged and nodded simultaneously, as if to soften the blow. It wasn't surprising, but that didn't mean it hurt less. "And Jimmy fits into this how?"  
  
"Well," Gerard started, and coughed, hand rubbing his face. "He sort of implied that you were spoken for? He was pretty fucking stubborn. And he sort of jumped the dude and tried to poke out his eyes with his thumbs. Was pretty grimy."  
  
She blinked, trying to process that. So him making an entire scene out of prom was even worse than his usual shenanigans. Worse than a bet and finding her fake diary. She should probably be thankful that he did that, but she only felt embarrassed.   
  
Gerard shrugged, pulling out a ratty copy of the play, pages all torn and scene directions underlined. "He deserved it, too, y'know? I thought t'was sweet. And I guess if I think about it, I'd totally do the same for my brother. Although that might make things worse...and he'd never have that problem, I mean--not that you, uh."   
  
"It's...fine. Really. Dude was an ass, I guess." She made an effort not to sound disjointed, but felt like she failed.  
  
Gerard nodded. "Major fucking asshole."  
  
She wanted to change the subject; uncomfortable even knowing about this at all, but she didn't want to let it show. She did ask, and insist on knowing. "So uh, you have a brother?"  
  
His face lit up. "Yeah, he's totally cool, you know, he has the best ability of finding B-movies from the eighties with zombies and monsters in 'em. Stuff that's not even listed on any sites. He even found a copy of 'I Drink Your Blood'!"   
  
"Cool." She nodded. Gerard nodded too, as if agreeing with her, and he started drawing up the bare bones of the stage on the papers. "How are we setting this up?"  
  
"Hmm, well, the play has twelve scenes, so we need to decide what mood we want and just draw something for each. It's not supposed to look natural, so I mean--" Gerard scratched his head, uncorking a tube of acrylics, using his thumb to smear the shape of a tree on one of the sheets, and a tent on another. He smiled at what he did, blending in more grey and yellow, adding stones here and there.   
  
Lyn waited for him to continue his sentence, but he just uncorked more tubes, and got his hands dirtier. She nodded to herself, taking a deep breath. "Okay."   
  
She still hadn't read the play, but the summary on the back filled her in well enough; from the looks of it Gerard was drawing the setting for the last scene, so she busied herself with reading the scene descriptions and trying to improvise something. She was barely done with her first board when Gerard was on his third, and she was very intently trying to not look at his, focusing on her own vision.  
  
"I'm really glad they picked this play." Gerard said. He straightened his back and had a goofy grin on as he examined the boards. The paint on his hands was mostly dry, but some flecks still stuck to his face when he rubbed it.  
  
"Oh, uh, sure." Lyn pushed some hair out of her face. "By the way, how did you know about the play? I mean, that they picked this one."  
  
"Hmm?" Gerard had paint allover his face. His lower lip rolled into his mouth as he used his thumb to smooth out some charcoal on some paper, traces of red paint following, making the scene look harrowing.  
  
"In the library? You knew what play the drama club was going to put up."  
  
"Oh, uhm. I sort of, used to perform, kinda. So Beckett tries to convince me to be in it every semester. This was the first time I had a legitimate excuse, with college apps being due and all. I thought it would be an awesome excuse, but I guess it is as stressful as they make it seem"  
  
"Oh. I didn't even know there was a drama club," she mumbled, kind of embarrassed. There seemed to be way more going on at school than just cheerleading and sports and homework; she'd had no idea. And now Kitty was busy with instruments and she was stuck helping a department she didn't even pick.  
  
"Hey, that's so cool," Gerard said, and beamed. He picked up some of her boards featuring Mother Courage's wagon in detail. "I like this, it's very sparse in general, over the top with the details? Maybe we could pull this off with some styrofoam and cardboard. I'm sure the shop class has some failed projects we can steal too, for her gear."  
  
Lyn looked at what he was pointing at; an odd crane, and the wagon that Mother Courage used throughout the play. She could almost see it in 3-D the way he was describing it. It did seem pretty cool. "You know, I think we have a cart in the tool shed that my dad made when Jimmy and I went through this lemonade selling phase--I bet we could use that and build on it. And I mean, it's only in the garden, and I bet I could talk my dad into letting us paint it black."  
  
"Awesome."  
  
"And..." she looked over his boards, seeing small points of possibilities here and there; a necklace that she could provide: the torn tent and pots and sheets. They ended up making a list, crossing out things they could donate or knew where to get.   
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
"That Gerard dude kinda looks like you," Jimmy said. He'd sneaked up behind her, and his voice startled her.   
  
"Jesus," Lyn rolled her eyes, collecting herself. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack? He does not look like me. Just because he has some Italian in him doesn't mean he looks like me. That would be like saying he looks like you."  
  
"Oh my god, you know his heritage already." Jimmy batted his eyes as if trying to blink away tears. His palm was pressed against his chest, and he took a deep breath. "This bodes well. You already have a crush on the male version of you, that's so  _cute_! It must be love."  
  
She shut the fridge. She couldn't tell if Jimmy was trying to be annoying or if this too was him trying to be 'sweet' in his own way. Setting up dates now. She had to take a deep breath to calm down, pinching the bridge of her nose.   
  
"Why don't you go ask him out. Do you want me to do it for you? I bet I can still catch up with him." Jimmy squinted out the kitchen window, said, "I think I can see him, still. It's not too late!"   
  
She drank some of her milk, it was a necessary distraction. He added, "I think he came to school in drag one day though, I'd be careful, he might be trying to Single White Female you. Be careful who you fall for!" Jimmy singsonged.  
  
She said, "You know.  _You_  seem to really like him. How about I ask him out for  _you_  next time I see him."  
  
"No, really, Jimmy, don't hesitate to ask. That's what sisters are for you know," she said, pinching one of his cheeks and pulling the skin as far out as she could.   
  
  
-

  


Lyn was let out of art early to sit in on the drama meeting, it was more fun than she expected, sitting alone in the auditorium and watching everyone on stage. She still hadn't read the play, but she'd brought her copy with her, and read the lines as they were performed.   
  
Mrotek told her it might be good for her inspiration to see what was going on, and how everyone was supposed to move on stage; a good way to get a sense of the space. She could already picture the way the background would fit on the stage.   
  
Kitty stopped by when she was done with her computer class, a bag of muffins dangling from her fist, stolen coffee in her other hand.   
  
"Oh my god, you're my hero," Lyn said, grabbing one of the paper cups.   
  
Kitty smirked. "I fucking should be, I had to pretend it was for Beckett. The things I do for you, Lynz." She messed Lyn's hair, nails sharp as she pulled on her ear. Lyn stuck out her tongue. Kitty dropped down next to her, ripping open the muffin bag. "So, s'it any good?"   
  
Lyn shrugged, said, "Yeah, actually. Better than I expected. It's kinda my style too."  
  
"What is it, war, death, sex and money?"  
  
Lyn nodded, savoring her coffee: two sugars and milk, just like she loved it. "Yup."  
  
"Right up your alley, then."  
  
The crowd on stage scattered, and Ashlee waved, jumping off the stage and walking up to them.   
  
"Hi girls," she said, joining them in their seats. "How're we doing?"  
  
"Looks good,"  
  
Ashlee looked at Kitty, hand on hers. "I didn't know you were going to help out too! I'm impressed, both a computer genius and an art one."  
  
Lyn expected Kitty to burst out laughing from that assumption and correct her, but she just looked vaguely amused, and muttered a, "Nah."  
  
"She's just keeping me company. Keeping me well feed, and all." She feigned a toast with her coffee.   
  
"That is my only purpose in life, apparently," Kitty mumbled, and from Ashlee's unchanged look she figured only she could hear it. Kitty  bit into her muffin and propped up her feet on the seat in front of hers. Louder, she said, "Actually I'm sort of doing field research, too, for a more musical purpose, I guess you could say. I'm supposed to check this out for marching band."   
  
Ashlee cocked her head, looking at Kitty. "You're in marching band? And here, hmm? How do we know you're not just spying?"  
  
Lyn watched Kitty's face, the tiny braids framing her face as she nodded. "You don't. Beckett requested something which is top secret, so I can't spill, but yeah. There will be a possible department crossover."  
  
"That does not surprise me at all." Ashlee laughed, and then whispered, "Sometimes I wonder if the drama club wasn't actually made  _for_  him, he takes that stuff so seriously." Ashlee's bangles sounded as she gestured, and she scratched her arm with a manicured nail. "I'm so glad that you might be helping out, though! Another of my favorite people, how cool."   
  
"Speaking of favorites," Lyn said, trying not to sound sarcastic, "You know, Ash, we were just talking about prom stuff and who to go with you know."  
  
Kitty frowned. "Oh,  _right_. Why don't you share your thoughts on that with Ashlee?" Kitty's voice dripped with sarcasm, and she stared at Lyn, still with a question mark on her face.  
  
Lyn focused on Ashlee. "I mean, um, I was just trying to convince her that she should go with Steve."  
  
"Steve." Ashlee rolled the name around in her mouth, still looking confused. "I really have no idea who that is. But I mean, if it makes you happy. Although, I don't really see why there's any rush with any of this."  
  
"Exactly. I can't believe you're still on that," Kitty rolled her eyes, and straightened her back. She'd turned away from Lyn, and she zipped up her hoodie.  
  
"Well...it's...interesting?"  It sounded way more like a question than Lyn intended, and she was kicking herself for bringing this up at all. She coughed. "Who're you going with, Ash?"   
  
"Oh gosh, dunno." Ashlee scrunched up her nose. "I haven't actually thought about it. It's kinda screwed irregardless you know? Like, you're gonna have such high expectations it's like it's bound to fail or something. I don't even wanna think about it."  
  
"I thought you were going with the soccer dude, Wentz?"   
  
"Pete?" Ashlee started laughing. It was loud, the kind of laugh that carried across the room. As soon as it looked like she might stop another wave began. It went on for a while. She was still catching her breath when she said, "Hah! No, God, we're just best friends. I mean, he does act like he likes me, but he acts like that with everyone. At least he doesn't try to suck face with me like he does Patrick." She shrugged. "I'm not really supposed to have boyfriends anyway, or it's grounding time." She wiggled her fingers in the air, eyes wide and then burst into laughter again.  
  
"You can't date, but you have a car?" Now Lyn was confused, and surprised. Of all the girls in school the one she'd have thought had the richest dating life would be Ashlee.   
  
"Yeah, I know. And well, it's not really my car...it's my sister's. She won a singing contest and that was dad's present for her. She's just totally awesome and let's me borrow it."  
  
"That's nice," Kitty said, smiling. "And hey, it totally bodes well for the future. He might get you an even better car."  
  
"I hadn't thought about that! That's so true! Maybe I can negotiate myself to it by raising the rest of my grades. Or oooh, there's a battle of the bands coming up, maybe--you do fliers too, right? Not just websites?"   
  
Kitty nodded, and it was like Lyn was forgotten all over again. "Some, yeah, I'm sure I could come up with something."  
  
"The more people know about us the more people will come and the more will vote! It might work. A car of my very own. Kickass."  
  
"But you know what, Kitty. Steve. He always liked you, you should totally go with him." It was like she had verbal diarrhea. If Lyn had a sword she'd totally plunge herself on it. Or maybe just cut out her tongue. Or just, chop some flowers off the school's lawn and give Kitty a big apologetic bouquet for being a selfish, jealous ass.   
  
"Steve likes everyone that stands still enough for him to hump. I am not special."  
  
Ashlee's face lit up. " _That_  Steve? I know who that is. You can do so much better, Kitkat."  
  
Lyn boggled at the nickname, but Kitty just said, "Thanks. And I've got my eye on someone else, actually.   
  
Lyn did not see that one coming. " _Really_? It's October. What's the hurry?"   
  
Kitty snorted. "Look who's talking. maybe I want him for more than just prom. just a thought"  
  
"Oh, shut up, kidding, kidding. I'm so over that. Come on, spill."  
  
Kitty stuffed some more of her muffin into her mouth, chewing the piece thoroughly. She shifted in her seat and shrugged. Like it was a secret; they weren't supposed to have secrets.   
  
Ashlee's face lit up, and she said, "Wait a minute! This wouldn't have anything to do with that guy you were helping pack drums into a van? That blond guy?"   
  
Lyn had absolutely no idea what Ashlee was talking about, but Kitty's lips were curving up, and small dimples formed in her cheeks. She was embarrassed, what the fuck? And   _why_  did Ashlee know more about this than her?  
  
Kitty shrugged, and swallowed the last piece of her muffin. "His name is Bob, okay. And yes he in the marching band. That's how we met."  
  
Ashlee squealed, hands in a fist in front of her. It looked like her eyebrows were going to be attached to her hairline forever. "He's quite the hunk, good job. And I bet he could have handled his drums all on his own, but he let you help, which is  _totally_  a good sign. He's in the palm of your hands!"   
  
Lyn couldn't think of anything to say, and blurted out, "Oh my  _god_. I can't believe you just used the work  _hunk_  seriously."  
  
Ashlee giggled. "You know you were thinking it!"  
  
"No, not really, because  _I've_  never seen mysteriously hunky Bob." It came out way sharper than she intended, but she didn't care at all right now. Ashlee apparently knew about Kitty's boyfriend before she did. Maybe Kitty thought she was going to be jealous or something.  Well Kitty was wrong cause she totally was not jealous.   
  
"He is dreamy. You'll see. You're not jealous, are you, I mean, I'm sure the guys are after you in droves after Jimmy drove your stock up?"  
  
Lyn forced a smile. "No. And I'm not looking for anyone either. Free as a bird and loving it. So, drums huh? Is he in a band?"   
  
"Just the one that marches." Kitty replied as if it was stupidest question ever. It wasn't; Lyn just wanted to know how serious and ambitious he was. Which he wasn't, apparently.   
  
Ashlee said, "Aw, man, people who know what they're doing musically are so awesome. I wish I could be in marching band, I bet your co-ordination skills are awesome."  
  
"Oh yeah? Why can't you be?"  
  
Ashlee shrugged. "I really suck at instruments. I mean, I'm pretty okay at singing certain stuff, not choir or anything—that's my sister's gig—but more rock stuff. That I can do. But I'm hopeless at instruments. I didn't even know what I was looking for when I was looking for a band, I mean, I know when something sounds good, but I don't know if there's skill involved? Or like, talent? It's tough."  
  
"Well, I think there's hope for everyone," Kitty said, and shrugged. "And fronting is way harder than people make it seem."   
  
"Mmm."   
  
"Anyway, I have to run." Kitty got up, and Ashlee gave her a goodbye hug. "I've got other stuff to do."   
  
Lyn tapped her foot against her seat, watching the stage as Katy waved to Ashlee to get back up. She was wearing her Mother Courage outfit, and had Ashlee's Chaplain clothes in her arms.   
  
"Me too," Ashlee said, collecting her bags, and headed towards the stage.   
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
It just wasn't fair. The world had to be against her. Everyone had someone, someone they actually liked,  and all she had was Jimmy trying to smoke her out of her room by farting by the door sill.   
  
"I'll jump out of the window before walking out to your stink bombs, your plan is not fool proof," she yelled.   
  
"How do you know that's not my aim?" He shouted back, and she groaned.  
  
Just having the window open wasn't enough to rid her of the ick factor, so she burrowed her head in her pillow, trying to breathe through it.   
  
What she really wanted was a smoke, but all her packs were at the library. Just thinking about it reminded her of Kitty sitting there, probably drawing hearts in her notebooks, and coding love sonnets to some dude Lyn didn't know anything about. She was probably texting everyone else in school about how awesome dude was. For all she knew Kitty had given away all her cigs to the hunky drummer. She groaned again, beating her head against her pillow.  
  
There was another knock on the door, firmer this time.  
  
"I swear to god, Jimmy, I'll throw  _you_  out of the window if you keep this up."  
  
"Excuse me?" Her mom's voice floated from outside of the room, and Lyn winced.   
  
"Nothing, mom, it's just a game we're playing." She cringed, got up and opened the door, only to find her mom and Gerard standing there.   
  
"Um, I was supposed to pick up the boards?" He said hesitantly, and her mom crossed her arms.   
  
"Right." Lyn forced a smile. "I'll take it from here, mom." She nodded, and left them alone.  
  
"You sure you didn't want any?" He asked, and inspected the corner of one, making sure it wasn't blunt.   
  
"Yeah, pretty sure. I don't really have any use for this..." She waved her hands over the boards, and he nodded. She hadn't even considered using the leftover boards. "What're you even doing with them?"  
  
"Oh, um, I have to mount some stuff before sending it in."  
  
"For?"  
  
"Oh! Um, art school. They want all these drawings and sketches and stuff on boards of an exact size and stuff sent to them. So they can talk shit about it all easier, I guess."  
  
"Right, you're doing college stuff already."  
  
"Mmmhm."  
  
"Are you--just applying to art schools?" She tilted her head, watched as his hands swept over the clean surfaces, making sure there were no cracks or cuts.   
  
He sighed, as if he'd gotten that question before. "Yeah. And yeah, yeah, I know it's not good and if I don't get in anywhere I'm screwed. I already got the talk from the counselor. But the way I see it; if you've got a backup plan, you end up using it."  
  
"I wasn't--"  
  
He looked up at her, and smiled. "Nah, I guess you wouldn't." She wanted to know what he meant by that, and maybe ask how he knew he wanted to do this; wanted to know how he was so certain. So willing to risk it all. But with one swift move he stacked all the boards together and picked them up.  
The leftover boards made a neat pile, all cut up in manageable pieces, Gerard could easily carry it. He picked it up, hands steady around the corners.  
  
"Thanks, see you tomorrow!"  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
They presented their ideas at the next after school drama club meeting.   
  
Mrotek was there, sitting in the back with Beckett and observing his reaction. It was the first time they both saw Lyn and Gerard's ideas as they wanted to be on the same page as everyone else in the club. Lyn suspected that was Mrotek's idea.   
  
Ashlee and Katy kept widening their smiles each time Lyn spoke, and it gave her a boost to know she already had supporters in the crowd.   
  
Beckett kept raising his chin at some of the boards, which seemed worrisome until Lyn noticed that Mrotek's smiles broadened with each of Beckett's chin raises.   
  
"I think we may be able to work with this. Yes," Beckett announced. "We are going to need everyone's co-operation on this, since we don't want to wear out our artistic masterminds. This must have required a good understanding of the play," Beckett said, addressing everyone as if they were his audience. Mrotek smiled at her and gave her a thumbs up.   
  
"So we get to paint shit?" Travis asked, cocking his head. He was one of the art volunteers. Katy sitting in the vee of his legs, and she pulled his shirt.   
  
"Indeed you do."  
  
"Awesome. S'what I signed up for." He bent down and tickled Katy's ribs and she collapsed into him in a fit of giggles. "Among other things."  
  
"Oh my god, you goof," Katy stuttered out between bursts of laughter.   
  
They didn't get started on any painting or gluing that day, spending their allotted time carrying up blocks of carton and cardboard backstage, and picking a room with easy access to the stage where they could mount everything. Travis and 'Sashi measured the stage under Beckett's supervision, as he changed his mind about the best spotlights and placements for everything.  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
Kitty wasn't in the cafeteria at next lunch, and Lyn wasn't surprised, who could blame her; she was probably having lunch with her hunky hottie and all her band friends anyway.   
  
She noticed Katy hovering over the food looking less than pleased and joined her.  
  
" _Fish sticks_ ," Katy said, scrunching her nose, and hooking her arm with Lyn's. "Come on, let's get some Mickey Dees. Ash!"   
  
Ashlee turned and made a face at Katy's expression, asked, "Fish sticks?"  
  
Katy nodded and Ashlee faked a shudder, hooking her arm with Katy's free one. "Take me with you."  
  
"But of course, m'lady!"  
  
They ate their cheeseburgers sitting on swings in a park nearby, the complementary milkshakes Katy managed to flirt herself to at their feet, almost getting knocked over with every swing.   
  
"You're so bad for my figure," Ashlee said, munching on her fries.  
  
"Oh, please, you're so busy dancing all the time." Katy swung herself higher, and added, "I bet this even counts as exercise."   
  
"Mmm," Ashlee approved around her fries.  
  
"Oh my god, this reminds me. Sleepover, this Friday. Be there." Ashlee pointed at them both with her milkshake. She paused as she wrapped her lips around her straw.   
  
"I'm not seeing the connection," Lyn said, dipping down and picking up her shake.  
  
"Well, there'll be plenty of chips and snacks and generally bad and delicious stuff around."  
  
Katy's eyes widened."Wait. No way. Does this mean...?" Her sentence trailed off and Ashlee nodded. Katy squealed. "I'd totally jump off this thing and give you a hug if I wasn't afraid of hurting myself."  
  
"Wait I don't get it, what's the big deal?" Lyn asked around her straw. "It's not like it's a weekday? Is there some special occasion I'm missing?"  
  
"It's a reward. I got a B- on my Oscar Wilde essay." Ashlee beamed, Katy swung her seat to the side in Ashlee's direction.She high-fived her awkwardly.   
  
"I  _told_  you you could pull it off."  
  
"That's great," Lyn said, and smiled. She'd gotten a C. Maybe Mrotek had been right about her lack of motivation, after all.  
  
"I totally brought up my grade average with that, if I can keep it high enough dad promised he'd let me meet up with a producer. Fingers crossed!"  
  
"That's amazing, Ash!"  
  
"Oh, hey, you should totally ask Kitty if she can come, you'll probably see her before I do anyway."  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
It was Kitty's day at the library, and she was behind the desk, tapping her fingers to something in her earphones, labeling books and matching them against the database.  
  
Lyn bumped her fist against Kitty's shoulder, and she looked up. She tried to smile as broadly as she could. "I missed you at lunch today."  
  
"Oh, yeah, we had some extra practice. Apparently we need to tighten our sound or something. Walk quieter as to 'not interfere with our harmonies'. Which is ridiculous since it's called  _marching_  band you know? I thought it was all about incorporating the rhythm of the walk into the melody." She cocked her head. "Sorry, boring. What's up."  
  
Lyn shrugged. "The usual. We presented our art stuff at the drama club today." Lyn watched as Kitty's pen scratched against her paper.   
  
She "Mhmmed" in response and nodded. "Did it go well?"  
  
"Yeah it was awesome. Beckett really liked it. He did that thing with his chin, you know--" Lyn copied it; she kept her lips tight and thrust out her jaw, and nodding as if with the tip of her chin.    
  
"Hah! Did he do the thumb stroking too?"  
  
"Oh, yes."  
  
"He must've loved it then."  
  
Lyn nodded. "Gerard was great too, helping out really nicely. Didn't try to overshadow me or anything. And did not suggest any comic stuff at all."  
  
"Wow," Kitty said, and blinked. "No comic references  _at all_?"   
  
Lyn shook her head. "Freaky."  
  
"Yeah. By the way, Ash is having a sleepover on Friday. She wanted me to like, relay that info to you."  
  
"Sounds fun." Lyn moved over when another student crowded her, five books piled high in his arms. He handed them to Kitty, and she checked them all.  
  
"You're coming with, right?"  
  
Kitty frowned, handing the kid back his books. "I'm not really free on Friday."  
  
"Really?" Lyn dug her nails into her palm. She had to restrain herself from asking what Kitty was busy with. If she wasn't volunteering information she obviously didn't want Lyn to know. "You're like, one of her favorite people, and all. I bet she won't be happy."  
"It's totally fine, I'm busy anyway. But you have fun without me."  
  
"Yeah. I will."  
  
Kitty's head snapped up, and Lyn bit her cheek. That was probably really unnecessary.  
  
"I'm sure  _band_  taking up a lot of your time, I guess."   
  
"Well yeah, but it's an extracurricular activity for a reason you know. It takes up time that's not on the curricular. Curriculum? Not in school, you know. You know how it is, it's not like the drama and art stuff hasn't eaten your life."  
  
"Yeah well, that's not  _voluntary_."  
  
"Seems like fun though. You like it, right? Maybe it is something for you." Kitty stretched, and Lyn noticed a badge with a drum on it with the school logo on attached to her jacket pocket.   
  
"Whatever."   
  
"What, so you  _don't_  like it?"   
  
Lyn grit her teeth. She did like it, she did. But she couldn't help but feel like Kitty was equating the art and drama assignment with her marching band stuff, which wasn't the same at all. Lyn wasn't trying to fit in somewhere just because of a guy, and she wasn't ditching her best friend because of it. She tried to sound perky when she said, "No, it's great. Maybe I will stick to it."  
  
"The school spirit finally moved you, huh? I bet Gerard being there didn't hurt either." Kitty winked jokingly, and no, she so did not get to do that.  
  
"He doesn't have anything to do with it. I didn't choose to help out because of him."  
  
"I know--it was a joke. Wait, do you have a thing for him? Because I promise not to laugh."  
  
"I'm not changing myself for a  _boy_. And I'm not staying there because of one  _either_."  
  
"Okay...are we still talking about Gerard? Because I'm getting the feeling that we're not."  
  
"Why don't you tell me. How is it to join a club only to score with one of the members?"  
  
"You have  _got_  to be shitting me. I did not join marching band just to  _score_." Kitty's eyes narrowed, and her hands were in fists, pushing against the desk.  
  
"Sure. Must be some stroke of luck, huh. I should be so lucky."  
  
Kitty huffed out a breath, and shook her head in disbelief. "Wow. So much for support, huh? You never considered that maybe I love playing drums and maybe  _that's_  why I like him to begin with, because we have something in common and he has some kind of passion that I share? I'm not pretending to be something I'm not just for attention."  
  
"And I am?"   
  
"I don't know;  _are_  you? I don't even know what your problem is. Are you mad because I have a boyfriend now? Or because I didn't tell you about him?"  
  
Lyn grit her teeth, and tried to think of something to say that would sound right. That would describe everything perfectly. There wasn't anything: Kitty was right, she was being an ass, and she couldn't even explain herself. Somehow, it just didn't feel fair. That Kitty had so much to do and so many people pulling at her when Lyn just...she only had what had been assigned to her. "I don't know."   
  
Kitty waited for Lyn to say something more, but she couldn't bring herself to. She kept staring at the desk, and Kitty's sheets of tabs visible under the stack of books.  
  
"Well, I don't either, Lindsey." She took the books, and left to stock the shelves.  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
Lyn was still in a shitty mood when she got home, stomping into the kitchen and loading up a tub of ice cream with banana slices and cool whip. The phone was ringing and she didn't fucking care, dropping down into the couch, burying her feet into the cushions.   
  
"That was Gerard, Lynz," Jimmy called from the kitchen, and she could tell from his tone that it wasn't at all; he just had something planned. She grunted and changed the channel.   
  
"I bet he likes you," Jimmy said, popping up from behind the door as she closes it behind Gerard. "I bet, he was going to ask you out."  
  
"I'm really not in the mood for this, Jimmy." If she couldn't stop his nonsense maybe she could drown it out.  
  
"Why else would he help some random sophomore?" His voice ambulated, and she could hear Steve's deep laugh echoing from behind. He was probably the one who called from his cell. She didn't have any patience for Jimmy right now, and even less for Jimmy  _and_  Steve.   
  
"Maybe because it's good for his grades, and his teacher asked him to, and he's nice?" She said loudly.  
  
"Oh, I see how it is, you're the one who likes him," Jimmy leaned over the couch and poked her nose. "How adorable."  
  
Lyn crossed her arms. "Or maybe  _you_  do. Do I have to tell Steve about this? I don't want any jealous fights going on when I'm trying to do my homework."  
  
"Please, I'm totally into threesomes and foursomes, open relationships. The more cocks the better. Right, Steve?"  
  
Lyn grimaced, said, "You're disgusting you know that?"  
  
"Is that homophobia I hear? Do I need to throw you to the wolves? You know, dear Lindsey, it is unnatural to feel such hatred. There are camps we can send you to where you can learn the ways of love."  
  
"Reprogramming works!" Steve hollered.  
  
"God you are so retarded. And does it matter? So  _what_  if he likes me. So  _what_  if I like him.  _No one cares!_  Now if you don't leave me the fuck alone I'm going to leave a puddle of ice cream as a surprise for you tonight somewhere in your room. So get  _lost._ "  
  
"I think she's PMSing," Steve said. "Let's not be casualties in this war. Can't win!"  
  
Lyn grunted and threw the remote at them; it made a satisfying  _thump_  as it hit Jimmy square in the chest. It was a small victory considering the commercials came on just then and she had to get up and find the remote, which they'd of course hidden as revenge. Whoopdi-fucking-do.  
  
Normally when she was this pissed she'd call Kitty and vent, which she couldn't now. She wouldn't know what to say, other than just sorry, and she wasn't ready for that.   
  
Besides, Kitty probably wasn't home; probably out somewhere riding in cars with  _Bob_  and drumming on shit. Or programming a website for him and ordering special books on nerdy drums and what the fuck ever.  
  
For the first time in months she pulled out one of her sketch pads, covering the pages with charcoal and ink.  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
Gerard helped Lyn to lay out the bare bones of a tree; he spread the glue with a plastic knife, slobbering it allover and letting Lyn press down the pieces to dry. It spared her jeans and covered his shirt with blobs of glue.  
  
He still seemed insistent on a gloomy mood for the decor, even though they'd had this argument a dozen times. "Grey, brown and white just works better with a dead tree. And it works better with shoes for leaves."   
  
"We don't have enough shoes for that," Mrotek said, tipping the tree over, making sure it could stand without support. He'd been there all week, and had recruited Matt and 'Sashi to help out, they were holding their brushes ready and waiting for instructions. Matt's eyes wandered from Mr Mrotek's face to Gerard's as the argument bounced back and forth. Lyn wouldn't be surprised if he'd been told his grade would improve from this, too.   
  
"But old shoes work better with the color."  
  
"I appreciate your desire to discuss this, but you are  _wrong_ ," Beckett said and Mrotek patted him on the shoulder.  
  
"Traditionally speaking, trees are like the center of everything, and the givers of life. It's pretty appropriate that this one should be all grey and dead considering the play's theme and shit. It's not supposed to be happy and perky," Gerard said. His mouth got uneven when he spoke; he was so excited the words came out faster than they were supposed to.  
  
Mrotek shook his head at Gerard's argument, holding out the green and red markers. "That would be  _complying_  to the mood, which would make it blend in, and that's not the point."  
  
"Isn't that why the tree is there to begin with? To contrast the story?"   
  
"Yes. And don't you want to go all the way with it instead of doing what's expected?"  
  
Gerard looked nervous, and Lyn took the markers. She scribbled on the trunk, and said, "There, it's settled. Bold groundbreaking colors it is."  
  
She handed the colors to Matt and 'Sashi, said, "We need more blends, so just use some of the cups. And there's a slew of leaves in the corner, just mix the red and green in streaks for vividness."   
  
Gerard blinked, and muttered something under his breath, but still took up the red color and painted the leaves. He might not have liked what he was doing but it still looked great; that's just how good he was. She watched the jerky movements of his hands. He'd given in pretty easily once she'd gotten involved. Maybe Jimmy was right in his insanity; maybe Gerard did like her. She didn't really know how she'd feel about that; she hadn't thought of him as more than a friend. Maybe she expected too much.   
  
He was practically bent over the papers when painting them, body hunched, making himself small. That was kind of annoying, but she could probably live with that. She cocked her head, trying to imagine kissing him. It wasn't difficult to imagine; she knew what a kiss felt like. These lips would just belong to Gerard. She could probably do it. Her train of thought was interrupted when he looked at her with his mouth open, like he got interrupted in the middle of a sentence.  
  
"Do I have paint on my face or something?" Gerard asked staring back at her. She shook her head.  
  
"Um, I was just. Admiring your hair. It looks different, did you do something to it?"  
  
Gerard's hand went up to his messy hair, staining it with green. "I dunno, I washed it a few days ago...maybe I've been lying on it differently."  
  
"It, uh, looks good on you?"   
  
"Oh. That's good to know. Too bad I don't know what's making it nice." He scratched his head and the color specks spread over his head, giving him a nice halo of dried paint. "I bet Mikey would know...."  
  
"Hey um, you know how you were talking about those Invisibles comics being really cool?" It couldn't hurt to try and maybe test the waters.   
  
Gerard perked up, "Yeah?"  
  
"I was thinking maybe I could borrow them or something? I mean, it'd be nice to like, know what you were talking about." She moved closer, bumping his arm with her elbow , in a nice gesture of camaraderie.   
  
A face splitting smile covered his face, and he said, "I think yeah, there's some really cool issues out there. But I have some rules about use; no taking them out of their plastic covers, and no drinks and no like, soups, or milkshakes or things that drip--"  
  
Lyn zoned out what Gerard was saying and only caught up when he asked, "Sound okay?" which she nodded to, not even really knowing what he was asking. He'd probably bring a manual on how to handle the (undoubtedly) laminated comics.   
  
She tried focusing on mixing her paints, and bent down, hair falling into the puddles.   
  
"Oh your, your hair," Gerard pointed out and almost reached out. She looked at it and frowned, then shrugged, she tried to flip it; she'd read in Cosmo that it was supposed to be a turn on.  
  
"Whatever. I've got some nice shampoo that'll get it right out."   
  
Gerard shrugged and went back to his drawing, he's walking over the papers, crouched, and Lyn tried to like, lay down seductively, but he just bumped against her and backed off. "Oh, s'cuse me," he said, and walked around her. It was silly, and she was grateful that he didn't hadn't noticed. She just hoped no one else had, either.  
  
She collected herself and watched Katy on stage, emoting about how the war was important to her livelihood. Travis came running in towards her, lifting her up and bending her over his shoulder. Katy laughed so hard it echoed around the entire auditorium, the sound of her slaps on his back following.   
  
"You get him, boy!" Ashlee giggled from inside the set up tent.   
  
"I don't see the word  _improvisation_  anywhere on this page, McCoy," Beckett said pointedly, which didn't deter Travis as he scooted across the stage. "Breaking the fourth wall does not mean that the audience should rush the stage!"  
  
"You are so dead, Travie!" Katy shouted from over his shoulder. "I have lines to learn! Things to practice!"  
  
'Sashi slid up to them, skidding across the floor on his knees, one of the paint blends in his hand. "If you don't release our lead these custom sneaks of yours are getting color bombed." He held one of Travis's ankles in his hands, and threatened to spill the paint over them.  
  
"My boy means business, huh?"  
  
"You betcha." 'Sashi grinned.  
  
Travis flipped Katy over, letting her down in a hug.   
  
"My hero," Katy said, and gave 'Sashi a kiss on the cheek. She stuck out her tongue to Travis, and he just pecked her cheek.  
  
"I b'lieve you've forfeited your piggy back ride." He jumped off the stage and sat down in the front row, clapping and whistling after each of her lines.   
  
Lyn kinda really wanted something like that, too. She looked over at Gerard, his lips were moving rapidly as he mumbled something she couldn't hear to Ray who was hunched next to him. He seemed more interested in talking about the comics and art than it being her asking about them, and god, she felt _so_  stupid. She wanted to blame her stupidity on Jimmy, but she knew better than to pay attention to him. It was just as well that Gerard didn't seem interested, because she didn't have the energy to be interested in him, as amazing and cool as he was, there just wasn't anything there.  
  
She sighed. "Hey, Gee."  
  
His head jerked up from where he was gluing the leaves to branches, extending them to be three dimensional. "Yeah?"  
  
"You know how you said before that your brother was awesome at finding weird movies that were off the map?"  
  
"Yeah." His face perked up.  
  
"There's this movie called 'Toxic Avenger' that someone-- _I've_  been looking for for a while. D'you think, maybe he could look it up and I could get a copy if he finds it? I mean, I'd pay for the tape and everything, but can you do that?"  
  
"Yeah, sure. No probs. I'll ask him about it."   
  
"Thanks."  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
Travis picked Katy up, her legs hiked up around his hips while they kissed.   
  
"Is he staying?" Lyn's mom didn't even pretend to sound casual, hands stiff on the wheel; prepared to drive right back home depending on her answer.  
  
"No, mom," Lyn said, "I'm pretty sure her parents are stricter than you guys when it comes to that."  
  
Her mom nodded, but didn't look completely satisfied. Lyn could tell she'd probably be parked out front until Travis left, but that didn't mean she'd have to stay in the car with her. "I'll see you tomorrow." Undoing her seat belt, she reached over awkwardly and gave her mom a hug before jumping out the car and jogging up to the porch.   
  
Katy and Travis were too occupied to notice her, and Lyn coughed. She didn't think she'd ever get used to being around these two when they acted like newlyweds. Katy opened her eyes, noticed her, and smiled in the middle of their kiss. She let go of him.   
  
"No boys allowed," Katy said, giving him a small kiss before her dropped her. She adjusted the bow on her head, and straightened her shirt. "I bet if Mr Simpson saw you ravishing me on the front lawn he'd have the dogs after us.  
  
"Mmm, forbidden love, s'that much hotter," he said, wearing a crooked smile. He bent down and slipped her his tongue again. They were pressed up against the porch and Lyn coughed, again.  
  
"I'm going to ring the bell, now, and I'm not going to keep any of the dogs away."  
  
"A'ight." Travis cocked his cap, and backed away. "Ladies."  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
Ashlee had prepped the living room; there was a stocked pile of movies on the table ready to be loaded into the VCR, and the bowls with popcorn and chips were overfull. Ashlee was already in her pajamas, a huge Hello Kitty shirt reaching her knees.  
  
Lyn dropped down into the couch and stole one of the pillows to hold on to.   
  
"Hi, Mr Simpson," Katy called out as he passed the living room. Lyn quickly moved her feet from the coffee table, and crossed her legs.   
  
"Oh please girls, call me Joe." His teeth were shiny, straight and blindingly white when he smiled, and it kinda grossed Lyn out. He gave Ashlee a peck on the cheek. "Just let me know if y'all need anything. Dad on call."  
  
"We know, we know." Ashlee rolled her eyes. " _Bye_." She turned back to them, picking up one of the movies. "We're starting with the romantic comedy--"  
  
Katy groaned.  
  
"-- _hey_ , come on. You know that's the order. Romance, drama, and then scary. That's always the order."  
  
Katy scrunched up her nose. "And I always complain."  
  
"Well whatever, my house, my rules. Get used to it." Ashlee popped the film into the VCR and Katy threw gummi bears at her.  
  
"What a waste of gummi bears," Lyn said, and shook her head.  
  
Katy laughed, said, "Yeah, but she's the one who likes them, so she can blame herself."  
  
"Pfffft, be quiet, it's starting." Ashlee stole the bag of bears from Katy's pocket, and held it to her chest. "I'll take care of you, babies."  
  
There was a lull in the movie; Lyn had lost track of all the misunderstandings, and Katy booed each time Hugh Grant spoke. "What is  _wrong_  with these people? Where's the sex?!"  
  
Even Ashlee was distracted, the gummi bear bag was empty, and she was painting her toenails, a towel spread under her feet on the coffee table.  
  
"Kitty was busy, by the way." Lyn grabbed a fist of popcorn, and popped the puffs into her mouth one at a time.  
  
"Oh? She told me you guys had a fight." Ashlee said, casually, like this kind of stuff went down everyday.   
  
"When did you see her?" She tried sounding casual too, and it seemed like she succeeded. Katy took the opportunity to turn off the movie and change the film.   
  
"Oh, she's been watching practice all week, I ran into her a few days ago?"  
  
"Watching...our practice?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"But...why?"  
  
Ashlee shrugged. "Well, she said it had to do with the marching band's super secret job, but I never saw anyone else from marching band there. And she didn't speak to Beckett once."   
  
"Oh."  
  
"It's okay, don't worry about it. There's gonna be plenty more sleepovers. And hey, if anything we have to celebrate surviving the play. I'm sure I could convince my dad to let all of drama club in on that one."  
  
Lyn nodded, and she was grateful to see Ashlee and Katy's attention turned to the screen again; people screaming on screen, loud enough to drown out the small voice in Lyn's head telling her she'd been an idiot.  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
The drama sessions passed fast. Technically, Beckett didn't need her or Gerard around anymore; they'd been so productive they managed to finish all the decor quickly, and all that was left was fine tuning from the cast. Still, she stayed, helping with the dress rehearsals and trying to shave time off scene changes.   
  
She'd told Gerard she could handle it all on her own, but he seemed to think it was his responsibility to help out, too. They were putting everything away when he bumped into her with the tree, one of the leaves getting stuck in her hair. "Sorry!"  
  
"S'alright." She tacked it back on to the tree. "I guess we have to make sure everything's glued on properly." He nodded.  
  
"Oh, hey, by the way I brought those Invincibles comics you asked about. I had to write it down," he said, showing off the palm of his hand. There was a smudged L and I and T, which didn't mean anything to her. "There's some chronological stuff, but also the best issues. It's kinda...mature though, so I mean, I brought some lighter stuff too, in case it's not your cup of tea. It's really fucking cool."  
  
Lyn squirmed; this was just as good a time as any to come clean. Stringing someone along wasn't the right thing. Even if he didn't seem to notice. "Thanks, but. I'm really not into comics. Sorry."  
  
"Oh." Gerard scratched his head and his mouth twisted, as if in deep in thought. "Well that's alright. I know Travis wanted to borrow some stuff, he'll just get it sooner than expected. I just hope he's okay with um, mature content."  
  
Lyn breathed out, and choked a laugh. "I'm pretty sure he is."  
  
"Hmm." Gerard nodded thoughtfully. "Hey, does that mean you don't want the 'Toxic Avenger' copy, either? Cause it took Mikey a while to find a a copy and he'll be pretty pissy if I tell him he didn't have to go through all that trouble."  
  
"No, that's cool. I was actually thinking of giving it away to someone."  
  
"Must be someone cool." He dug up a packet from his backpack; it was wrapped in newspaper and crinkled when she took it.  
  
"Yeah, yeah she is."  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
Lyn got to marching band practice early, scared to miss Kitty if she was late. She might chicken out if she had to sit through the entire practice before talking to her.   
  
She lurked outside, too uncomfortable to pretend like she belonged with the band when people started filing in and slipping into their clothes. They almost all looked more at ease when they carried their instruments. She got it, now, but it still felt awkward to be there; she really did not belong there. She probably stuck out like a sore thumb, but no one said anything, filing into the storage room and slipping back out with their backs straight.  
  
Kitty arrived with Bob, hand in his and with new pink streaks braided in her hair. She dropped Bob's hand when she made eye contact with Lyn, but at least she didn't ignore her. She stopped in front of her, hooking her thumbs through her belt loops.   
  
"Hey um, I brought you something. For your collection." Lyn buried her hands in her pockets as soon as Kitty took the package.  
  
Kitty unwrapped the newspaper bunched around the VHS, and blinked when she saw the title. She handed it over to Bob, and he looked at the tape, thumb crossing the weird xeroxed cover which must've been copied too, nodded and said, "This one's good. Nice."  
  
"Thanks," Kitty said, and bumped Lyn with her shoulder. Lyn shrugged, but she couldn't help but smile.   
  
"I'm guessing you're Bob?"  
  
He nodded. She was about to introduce herself when he interrupted, "Lyn, yeah I know. You're doing the decor for the play, right?"  
  
He caught her off guard with that, and Lyn blinked, and looked at Kitty, and she bit her lip. "Yeah, I am. Or, well, I did some of it, not everything."  
  
"Fun?"  
  
"Yeah," Lyn said, and she meant it. "Yeah it was. Are--are you coming?"  
  
"I'll make sure he's there." Kitty bumped her arm against his, and he ducked his head.   
  
"Oh yeah?"   
  
Kitty nodded. "Hey, babe, can we--?" Kitty made a face, and cocked her head towards Lyn. He nodded.  
  
"Nice meeting ya." Bob waved, and went into the storage room. He too seemed way more balanced when he carried his drums.  
  
"So I take it you're coming to the play?"  
  
"Yeah, I have to. You know that secret project I was talking about?" Lyn nodded. "Yeah, well, Beckett decided to follow the play's original instructions and have a band playing in the audience. Never mind that we're supposed to be, you know,  _marching_."   
  
"In the audience?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"That's--"  
  
"Ridiculous, I know."  
  
"He can't do that, there's no space! And does he want to make people deaf? That's just a lawsuit waiting to happen."  
  
Kitty laughed. "That's what I said. I think I convinced him to have us up on stage instead. It has the same 'alienating' effect that he's after." She crooked her fingers in the air when she said 'alienating' and rolled her eyes.  
  
"So, what Bob's gonna be playing too?"  
  
She shrugged, said, "Nah. They only need one set of drums."  
  
"Wow. And they picked you?"  
  
Kitty nodded, and Lyn hugged her, arms squeezing around Kitty's shoulders. "Oh wow, congrats. I just--I'm sorry. For, god, you know, being such a bitch about everything.  
  
"Mmhm."  
  
"I'm just...Okay, do feel free to tell me to fuck off--"  
  
"--Like I wouldn't," Kitty said, and smirked, and Lyn couldn't help but smile.  
  
"--why, why didn't you say anything? I mean, like, before. Before anything happened? Cause like, I'm not saying that I'm entitled to know anything at all but. I thought maybe that was the sort of thing we talked about? I don't want you to not say things to me, or think that you can't, you know? Even though I guess I've just given you tons of reasons to not, but."  
  
"You know I don't talk about guys."  
  
"I guess, but like, there's never really been anything before? Unless you've been keeping that away from me, too."  
  
"No, it's more like, that's why? Because nothing's happened. I don't want to build up expectations, and then have to explain that it fell apart." Kitty sighed and twisted her mouth.   
  
"I just thought you didn't like anyone at all."   
  
Kitty shrugged. "It's better not to obsess when nothing's gonna happen, you know?"  
  
"Yeah...I guess. Ugh, I'm sorry. I didn't know."  
  
Kitty shrugged. "S'life. Can't always get what you want, and all."  
  
"Yeah. I guess the Stones were right about that. You know, I love the highlights."  
  
"Thanks," Kitty said, touching them, and wrapping the VHS back up again. "So, hey, you wanna watch practice?"   
  
"Yeah, I really do."  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
Lyn and Kitty had to rush from the field to the auditorium for the last dress rehearsal, laughing as they jumped the stairs back into the school, rushing by people leaving on their way in. Lyn didn't even notice she was starving until they were done rehearsing. Her stomach growled over the sound of cardboard scraping the floor.   
  
Lyn's hair was a mess, and her shirt was covered with dust. Apparently you could never dust off a stage completely.   
  
"I'mma go wait for the shower, first band and then this. It's like being put through a car wash, without the soap and water, jesus." Kitty rubbed her face. "Those lights are  _killer_ , I'm jealous of you backstaging. No sweat."  
  
Lyn grunted, too exhausted to be witty. It was a nice feeling.   
  
"Lindsey, this is possibly not the best time to bring it up, but do you think we can count on you for the spring play?" Mrotek asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'd love that. And thanks."  
  
"Good, good. I think Mr Beckett is a little too proud to say so himself, but you've been a really big help in making this all coherent."  
  
"We're not done yet."  
  
"No, that's true. But you've filled your role very well. And Gerard, too." He cocked his head to the line-up of decor that Gerard was sorting. They were lined up in order of use for easy access. "Thanks. And you too, Kitty; we seldom get to mix groups like this. It's appreciated."  
  
She shrugged, and went into the dressing room, holding the door open for Lyn.  
  
"I need a shower." Katy shook her head, letting her hair down. It looked a mess, still matted for her role. She pulled at it, twisted her mouth, and said, "I guess there's no use in fixing this, since I'll just have to redo it tomorrow."   
  
"And after that you  can have the prettiest shiniest hair ever."  
  
"Oh, I will, believe me, I will."   
  
"We should celebrate." Ash popped a gum into her mouth, and offered the pack to them where they were sitting. Her hair was still wet from her shower, and she had a towel wrapped around her shoulders.   
  
"I keep saying this but, we're not actually done yet," Lyn said, emphasizing 'yet'.  
  
"Yeah, well, we've done a lot so far. You can admit that. And we need like, and energy booster. A pancake energy booster."  
  
Katy's face lit up, and she swooned. "Oh, IHOP. I need double chocolate chip pancakes with a sea of maple syrup and some islands of butter. Mmhmm, sugar, mmm carbs."  
  
"See?" Ashlee said. "Whatcha say?"  
  
"We're in," Kitty said, and Ashlee grinned.   
  
Katy craned her head towards the showers as the sound of running water stopped. No one emerged. "Excellent. Now excuse me. I have someone to kick out of the shower."   
  
Kitty nudged Lyn's arm. "You should ask Gerard if he wants to come."  
  
Lyn narrowed her eyes, suspicious. "Why?"   
  
"Well he worked hard too. And he's your friend, right?"  
  
"Kitty."  
  
Kitty smiled mischievously. "Okay, fine. You seemed to protest too much earlier. Not to like, put you in a bad mood again. But seriously, you interested? I won't tease. Cross my heart."  
  
Lyn sighed. "Nah. It would make things far easier, but no."  
  
"Well," Kitty said, tapping her fingers against the rim of her drum. "He's still your friend, though. Right?" Lyn nodded. "He deserves some celebratin' too."  
  
"Yeah. But we have the big celebration tomorrow, you know? This feels more like. Ours. Just the girls. If that makes sense?"   
  
Kitty nodded, a crooked smile on her face. "S'cool. S'not like I've got the library to buy those books he wanted anyway. Oh, hey--have you intercepted any plans of Jimmy's to mess with the show?" Kitty slipped her white performance blouse onto a hanger, and lifted her drum, hiking it up against her hip.   
  
"Mmm, I  _believe_  Steve and him are gonna try to flash the audience."   
  
"Huh. That's kinda lame."  
  
"I know, right? I expect way more than that. I think the entire school has seen their butts before. Anyway, I warned Mrotek about it."  
  
"Oh, oh my god, Lyn, did you turn into a narc?"  
  
"Hey! Watch it. I just don't want my thunder stolen. I worked hard on this."  
  
"Mhmmmmm, of course, of course."  
  
Katy popped up behind Kitty's shoulder, face wet and hair up and still dry. "Your turn!"  
  
"Alright. That's my cue. You guys'll wait?"  
  
Lyn nodded, taking the snare drum from Kitty's grasp.   
  
"I'll lock this up for you."  
  
  
  
-  
  
  
  
No amount of dress rehearsals could've prepared Lyn for the actual play. Gerard and she had the decor switches under control, but the immediacy of it all was odd. There was actual audience sitting down  _watching_ , and Lyn could hear them moving, and laughing and  _breathing_.She hadn't expected this and theadrenaline rush. And the nerves, even though no one even saw her, she couldn't hold her hands still. Her hands were so sweaty she was certain the paint would slip off the cardboard when she moved it.   
  
"Pretty cool, isn't it?" Gerard said. His shoulder was flush against hers, and he was out of breath, having pulled away the tent and replaced it with the cardboard house facade on his own.  
  
"Yeah. Yeah, oh, gosh I'd forgotten you used to perform. Is it weird being back here? Watching from afar, and shit?" The stage lights didn't blind them from where they stood, illuminating the audience;the faces looked hollow and ghost-like in the washed out light. Lyn got a rush from just watching the silhouettes in the dark.   
  
He shrugged. "I don't know about weird. Different, yeah. I mean, I've still got stuff on display you know. And it's all me, well, and you. But I mean, it's not like I painted anything pretending to be someone else."  
  
"Just compromising your aesthetics, huh?"  
  
"Yeah...it turned out good, though."  
  
"Did that hurt to say?"  
  
"Maybe a little," he said, and quirked his lips. "It's almost scarier, though, cause it's real. You know?"  
  
"Yeah." Her breathing was heavy, and it was more of a whisper when she said, "Can't wait to do it all again next term."  
  
She could see Gerard nodding in the edge of her sight; she didn't know if it was to what she said, or to Travis on the other side of the stage. She waited for their signal, ready for the lights to go out again.  



End file.
